Mr. Munchausen
XI
THE BARON AS A RUNNER
The Twins had been on the lookout for the Baron for at least an hour,and still he did not come, and the little Imps were beginning to feelblue over the prospect of getting the usual Sunday afternoon story. Itwas past four o'clock, and for as long a time as they could rememberthe Baron had never failed to arrive by three o'clock. All sorts ofdreadful possibilities came up before their mind's eye. They picturedthe Baron in accidents of many sorts. They conjured up visions of himlying wounded beneath the ruins of an apartment house, or somethingelse equally heavy that might have fallen upon him on his way from hisrooms to the station, but that he was more than wounded they did notbelieve, for they knew that the Baron was not the sort of man to bekilled by anything killing under the sun.
"I wonder where he can be?" said Angelica, uneasily to her brother,who was waiting with equal anxiety for their common friend.
"Oh, he's all right!" said Diavolo, with a confidence he did notreally feel. "He'll turn up all right, and even if he's two hours latehe'll be here on time according to his own watch. Just you wait andsee."
And they did wait and they did see. They waited for ten minutes, whenthe Baron drove up, smiling as ever, but apparently a little out ofbreath. I should not dare to say that he was really out of breath, buthe certainly did seem to be so, for he panted visibly, and for two orthree minutes after his arrival was quite unable to ask the Imps theusual question as to their very good health. Finally, however, thecustomary courtesies of the greeting were exchanged, and the deckswere cleared for action.
"What kept you, Uncle Munch?" asked the Twins, as they took up theirusual position on the Baron's knees.
"What what?" replied the warrior. "Kept me? Why, am I late?"
"Two hours," said the Twins. "Dad gave you up and went out for awalk."
"Nonsense," said the Baron. "I'm never that late."
Here he looked at his watch.
"Why I do seem to be behind time. There must be something wrong withour time-pieces. I can't be two hours late, you know."
"Well, let's say you are on time, then," said the Twins. "What keptyou?"
"A very funny accident on the railroad," said the Baron lighting acigar. "Queerest accident that ever happened to me on the railroad,too. Our engine ran away."
The Twins laughed as if they thought the Baron was trying to foolthem.
"Really," said the Baron. "I left town as usual on the two o'clocktrain, which, as you know, comes through in half an hour, without astop. Everything went along smoothly until we reached the VitriolReservoir, when much to the surprise of everybody the train came to astand-still. I supposed there was a cow on the track, and so kept inmy seat for three or four minutes as did every one else. Finally theconductor came through and called to the brakeman at the end of ourcar to see if his brakes were all right.
"'It's the most unaccountable thing,' he said to me. 'Here's thistrain come to a dead stop and I can't see why. There isn't a brake outof order on any one of the cars, and there isn't any earthly reasonwhy we shouldn't go ahead.'
"'Maybe somebody's upset a bottle of glue on the track,' said I. Ialways like to chaff the conductor, you know, though as far as that isconcerned, I remember once when I was travelling on a South AmericanRailway our train was stopped by highwaymen, who smeared the trackswith a peculiar sort of gum. They'd spread it over three miles oftrack, and after the train had gone lightly over two miles of it thewheels stuck so fast ten engines couldn't have moved it. That was aterrible affair."
"I don't think we ever heard of that, did we?" asked Angelica.
"I don't remember it," said Diavolo.
"Well, you would have remembered it, if you had ever heard of it,"said the Baron. "It was too dreadful to be forgotten--not for us, youknow, but for the robbers. It was one of the Imperial trains inBrazil, and if it hadn't been for me the Emperor would have beencarried off and held for ransom. The train was brought to astand-still by this gluey stuff, as I have told you, and thedesperadoes boarded the cars and proceeded to rifle us of ourpossessions. The Emperor was in the car back of mine, and the robbersmade directly for him, but fathoming their intention I followed closeupon their heels.
"'You are our game,' said the chief robber, tapping the Emperor on theshoulder, as he entered the Imperial car.
"'Hands off,' I cried throwing the ruffian to one side.
"He scowled dreadfully at me, the Emperor looked surprised, andanother one of the robbers requested to know who was I that I shouldspeak with so much authority. 'Who am I?' said I, with a wink at theEmperor. 'Who am I? Who else but Baron Munchausen of the BodenwerderNational Guard, ex-friend of Napoleon of France, intimate of theMikado of Japan, and famed the world over as the deadliest shot in twohemispheres.'
"The desperadoes paled visibly as I spoke, and after making dueapologies for interfering with the train, fled shrieking from the car.They had heard of me before.
"'I thank you, sir,' began the Emperor, as the would-be assassinsfled, but I cut him short. 'They must not be allowed to escape,' Isaid, and with that I started in pursuit of the desperate fellows,overtook them, and glued them with the gum they had prepared for ourdetention to the face of a precipice that rose abruptly from the sideof the railway, one hundred and ten feet above the level. There I leftthem. We melted the glue from the tracks by means of our steam heatingapparatus, and were soon booming merrily on our way to Rio Janeirowhen I was feted and dined continuously for weeks by the people,though strange to say the Emperor's behaviour toward me was verycool."
"And did the robbers ever get down?" asked the Twins.
"Yes, but not in a way they liked," Mr. Munchausen replied. "The suncame out, and after a week or two melted the glue that held them tothe precipice, whereupon they fell to its base and were shattered intopieces so small there wasn't an atom of them to be found when a monthlater I passed that way again on my return trip."
"And didn't the Emperor treat you well, Uncle Munch?" asked the Imps.
"No--as I told you he was very cool towards me, and I couldn'tunderstand it, then, but I do now," said the Baron. "You see he wasvery much in need of ready cash, the Emperor was, and as the taxpayerswere already growling about the expenses of the Government he didn'tdare raise the money by means of a tax. So he arranged with thedesperadoes to stop the train, capture him, and hold him for ransom.Then when the ransom came along he was going to divide up with them.My sudden appearance, coupled with my determination to rescue him,spoiled his plan, you see, and so he naturally wasn't very grateful.Poor fellow, I was very sorry for it afterward, because he really wasan excellent ruler, and his plan of raising the money he needed wasn'ta bit less honest than most other ways rulers employ to obtain revenuefor State purposes."
"Well, now, let's get back to the runaway engine," said the Twins."You can tell us more about South America after you get through withthat. How did the engine come to run away?"
"It was simple enough," said the Baron. "The engineer, after startingthe train came back into the smoking car to get a light for his pipe,and while he was there the coupling-pin between the engine and thetrain broke, and off skipped the engine twice as fast as it had beengoing before. The relief from the weight of the train set its pace toa mile a minute instead of a mile in two minutes, and there we were ata dead stop in front of the Vitriol Station with nothing to move usalong. When the engineer saw what had happened he fainted dead away,because you know if a collision had occurred between the runawayengine and the train ahead he would have been held responsible."
"Couldn't the fireman stop the engine?" asked the Twins.
"No. That is, it wouldn't be his place to do it, and these railwayfellows are queer about that sort of thing," said the Baron. "Theengineers would go out upon a strike if the railroad were to permit astoker to manage the engine, and besides that the stoker wouldn'tundertake to do it at a stoker's wages, so there wasn't any help to belooked for there. The conductor happened to be nearsighted, and so hedidn't find out
that the engine was missing until he had wasted ten ortwenty minutes examining the brakes, by which time, of course, therunaway was miles and miles up the track. Then the engineer came to,and began to wring his hands and moan in a way that was heart-rending.The conductor, too, began to cry, and all the brakemen left the trainand took to the woods. They weren't going to have any of theresponsibility for the accident placed on their shoulders. Whetherthey will ever turn up again I don't know. But I realised as soon asanybody else that something had to be done, so I rushed into thetelegraph office and telegraphed to all the station masters betweenthe Vitriol Reservoir and Cimmeria to clear the track of all trains,freight, local, or express, or somebody would be hurt, and that Imyself would undertake to capture the runaway engine. This they allpromised to do, whereupon I bade good-bye to my fellow-travellers, andset off up the track myself at full speed. In a minute I strode pastSulphur Springs, covering at least eight ties at a stretch. In twominutes I thundered past Lava Hurst, where I learned that the enginehad twenty miles start of me. I made a rapid calculation mentally--Ialways was strong in mental arithmetic, which showed that unless I wastripped up or got side-tracked somewhere I might overtake the runawaybefore it reached Noxmere. Redoubling my efforts, my stride increasedto twenty ties at a jump, and I made the next five miles in twominutes. It sounds impossible, but really it isn't so. It is hard torun as fast as that at the start, but when you have got your start theimpetus gathered in the first mile's run sends you along faster in thesecond, and so your speed increases by its own force until finally yougo like the wind. At Gasdale I had gained two miles on the engine, atSneakskill I was only fifteen miles behind, and upon my arrival atNoxmere there was scarcely a mile between me and the fugitive.Unfortunately a large crowd had gathered at Noxmere to see me passthrough, and some small boy had brought a dog along with him and thedog stood directly in my path. If I ran over the dog it would kill himand might trip me up. If I jumped with the impetus I had there was notelling where I would land. It was a hard point to decide either way,but I decided in favour of the jump, simply to save the dog's life,for I love animals. I landed three miles up the road and ahead of theengine, though I didn't know that until I had run ten miles fartheron, leaving the engine a hundred yards behind me at every stride. Itwas at Miasmatica that I discovered my error and then I tried to stop.It was almost in vain; I dragged my feet over the ties, but could onlyslow down to a three-minute gait. Then I tried to turn around and slowup running backward; this brought my speed down ten minutes to themile, which made it safe for me to run into a hay-stack at the side ofthe railroad just this side of Cimmeria. Then, of course, I was allright. I could sit down and wait for the engine, which came boomingalong forty minutes later. As it approached I prepared to board it,and in five minutes was in full control. That made it easy enough forme to get back here without further trouble. I simply reversed thelever, and back we came faster than I can describe, and just one hourand a half from the time of the mishap the runaway engine was restoredto its deserted train and I reached your station here in good order. Ishould have walked up, but for my weariness after that exciting run,which as you see left me very much out of breath, and which made itnecessary for me to hire that worn-out old hack instead of walking upas is my wont."
"This brought my speed down ten minutes to the mile,which made it safe for me to run into a haystack." _Chapter XI._]
"Yes, we see you are out of breath," said the Twins, as the Baronpaused. "Would you like to lie down and take a rest?"
"Above all things," said the Baron. "I'll take a nap here until yourfather returns," which he proceeded at once to do.
While he slept the two Imps gazed at him curiously, Angelica, a littlesuspiciously.
"Bub," said she, in a whisper, "do you think that was a true story?"
"Well, I don't know," said Diavolo. "If anybody else than Uncle Munchhad told it, I wouldn't have believed it. But he hates untruth. I knowbecause he told me so."
"That's the way I feel about it," said Angelica. "Of course, he canrun as fast as that, because he is very strong, but what I can't seeis how an engine ever could run away from its train."
"That's what stumps me," said Diavolo.